i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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