i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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