So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
