brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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