I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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