we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
BRING THE BAGELS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
