is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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