she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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