break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
