Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
