yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
