Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
