Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize