looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
