1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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