You can't special order awesome
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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