Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
