Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
