you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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