If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
