im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
