porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
