He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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