Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
