Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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