Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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