Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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