i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just blew my weed a kiss
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
