I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
