It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
