There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
