Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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