You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
