I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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