And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
