Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
