It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
