Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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