I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
