I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
