i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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