Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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