I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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