i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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