omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
