you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I currently don't understand fingers.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
