i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
