I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
