I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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