The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
