were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
