Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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