my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
...so i touched it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
