i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
