So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
