I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
