i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
