At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
