so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize