i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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