Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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