did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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