Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
